“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

This astute quote from George Carlin sums up the dangerous idea we explored last time – the ‘I’m perfect but surrounded by idiots’ mindset.

If you have a team member with this mindset it’s hard work managing and working with them.

• They don’t grow because they have zero self-awareness.
• They scupper teamwork because their colleagues don’t trust them or want to collaborate with them.
• They repel other talent because great people don’t want to work with delusional, difficult ones.

You might be tempted to stick your head in the sand and hope the problem resolves itself with time.

But I can guarantee – it won’t. (And I think you know it too.)

So, unless you want to spend the next 5 years of your life apologising, excusing their behaviour or trying to patch up fractured team relationships… it’s time to tackle it head on.

And the only way to do this is to understand the root causes.

Here are some things that might be at play.

Problem #1 – do they even know they do it?
So many behaviour issues I see in my coaching and consulting go back to leaders dodging difficult conversations. Your colleagues can’t fix a problem they don’t know about.

You don’t always inherit a self-aware team, but you can create one. My awareness has benefitted hugely from feedback. Being described as a ‘heat seeking missile in slingbacks’ in my youth did focus my mind on dialling up the EQ!

Solution = feedback
• Hold up the mirror and explain the behaviour you see AND the impact that has on you and others
• Support them to change it. If they don’t, that’s more feedback to share
• For practical tips in giving effective feedback, download my guide.

Problem #2 – are they scared?
Healthy teams are made up of individuals who can make mistakes and not end their careers over it.

If you have an environment where team members are scared to fail, some will constantly point the finger for fear of getting the blame for any issues.

It may not even be your fault – if that individual’s had their fingers burned in another team, under another leader or even in another organisation, they will carry the scars. It might be up to you to help them heal.

Solution = make it safe
• Think about the tone you set. The messages you send. The culture you create
• Do you need to revisit what happens when things go wrong?
• Do you need to agree some new team behaviours to change the dynamic?
• Check out this HBR article on psychological safety here to help you think about building it within your team

Problem #3 – single-track thinking
The right-fighter who’s convinced everyone else is wrong might be a single-track thinker. Someone whose world is black and white.

A person who knows how they would solve that problem / write that paper / deal with that situation – which is ‘right’ – and they can’t see another way.

For them, anyone who does something different is an idiot. They won’t see or appreciate different thinking. Or someone who might know better than them.

Solution = a crash course in shades of grey
• Explore how a variety of different ideas get to a better solution
• Discuss how few things are truly binary
• Pair them up with someone who thinks completely differently and have that person share how they approach things and why they do it that way

Don’t turn a blind eye. Tackle it. Don’t you deserve a collaborative, high performing team? Well, you can have one.